Where Was God When I needed Him?
Presented by Renee’s father at the
Journey of the Heart Couple’s Dinner – Nov. 16, 2012
Umbrella Ministries

A crutch is very useful when you break a leg, and umbrellas are wonderful devices when you’re in a downpour.

I had just finished speaking to the Christian Women’s Club in Boron, CA. The occasion was their annual Christmas dinner with husbands invited. At the end of my presentation, I was called to the back of the auditorium where I learned I had a call from an officer with the L. A. County Sheriff’s Department. He was calling from Lancaster, our home city, about 100 miles away. He wanted to know if we had a daughter named Renee. I said, “yes.” He suggested we return to the Antelope Valley Medical Center as soon as possible.

Renee, our youngest fourteen-year-old daughter, had been to a Christmas party in a private home with several of her friends from our church family. On the way home, a woman under the influence failed to stop at a stop sign hitting the car she was in. Her injury came from the severe force of her head hitting the window on the passenger side of the car.

When we arrived at the hospital she was lying on a gurney and appeared to be asleep since there were no physical marks on her body.  We soon learned she was not asleep but in a coma, a condition that would last for months. She had suffered a brain stem injury. The only neurosurgeon in the valley at that time, not known for his bedside manner, took Renee’s mother and me aside and suggested we go downstairs and sign the papers to harvest those parts of her body that could be helpful to others. He said without any sign of emotion, “she will not live until morning.” His words felt like a sledgehammer striking a bowl of Jell-O.

For more than ten years I had served as the pastor of the King’s Place, a growing, loving group of people who had been a major focus of my life. About seventy-five of our people had arrived at the hospital before we were able to get there from Boron. They were there to support us and for the next three weeks, different ones from the church family met in the hospital chapel every hour around the clock. They petitioned God for a miracle that only He could perform. It was a remarkable demonstration of love and devotion that we will never forget.

Renee didn’t die that night. For the next three weeks, she clung to life. Every piece of equipment known to the medical profession seemed to be employed. It appeared the special care nurses had taken up residence in our daughter’s room. The cadence of the breathing machine was overwhelming. At the time we didn’t know the severity of the injury to her brain stem since the initial diagnosis had been made with an angiogram. The hospital had not yet been equipped with the equipment for CAT scans. The doctor had made his preliminary diagnosis from his medical experience and the angiogram.

In the accident that took less than a second, she fell into a coma, lost the ability to swallow and she could no longer control the temperature of her body. A special blanket was placed underneath her to compensate for what the brain normally does. It would cool her when she ran excessive tempts and warm her when her body chilled. In spite of all the equipment, she looked like a sleeping angel ready to wake up if only her pastor father could figure this out in finding the right scripture, offer the right prayer, say the right thing.

In spite of what we were forced to observe in Renee’s condition, our level of faith was exceptional. Along with our friends who continued to pray and encourage us, we all believed that God would provide a miracle, but her coma continued.

I have discovered there are times when great passages of God’s Word are not helpful, not because there is any lack of truth in Scripture, but there are times when the vessel or person has become so cracked and broken, there is no way truth can provide what the well-meaning person intends. In my case, the Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 8:28 (NIV) would serve for illustration. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” With all of my being, I wanted to cry out, REALLY!

My conversations with God went something like this. “Father, I understand that I am not someone special or unique in the sense that I am able to avoid tragedy or loss. I know other wonderful people have experienced excruciating pain of heart and mind that exceeds anything I shall ever know, yet I plead with you my case. You know of my love for you and you know my life has been committed to you.  Not man, but You, have placed this calling on my life. Haven’t I met at least these minimal conditions making it possible for you to come through with this promise about “all things working together for good.?” What am I not understanding about “all things?”

The Miracle that Didn’t Happen

The miracle of Renee’s full recovery didn’t happen, yet God’s people continued to pray with faith. Often when we don’t get the really big thing, we begin to rationalize this whole faith issue by suggesting that God is either saying, “Yes, No, or Not Now.” I have never found this to be a very satisfying concept. I generally see this as a very inadequate answer, our effort to provide God with some sort of excuse for not doing what He encouraged us to have faith for. Until my death I may struggle with the fact that God grants a petition to one and not another. It is important for me to say that my need to know or understand is not as great today as in the past.

I will not say that God didn’t hear and respond to our request on our daughter’s behalf. He did, but His response did not seem to fit the petition. I couldn’t help but asks God about that “rejoicing always” in the midst of terrible circumstances, and the longstanding question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

I believe that God helped me understand that each of us has a different purpose of being on planet earth. We have different opportunities and privileges. Some of us come to personally develop and strengthen the fruit of His spirit: those of love, kindness, patience, joy, peace, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Sometimes we come to help others to develop the fruit of the spirit, but we are all here to become more Christ-like, as Paul describes in Rom. 8.

Even though at the core my being, I fought the thought that even in the most terrible circumstances, these events can stimulate great change in the lives of individuals. Without observing cruelty, we would not be moved to compassion. Without personal trials, we would not develop patience or faithfulness. At the moment of loss, it is hard to see that it is the recognition that our earthly issues matter little when compared to life eternal that allow us to know joy in the midst of sorrow and worry. This truth does not come easy in the middle of hurt.

The First Big Report from the Medical Team

The day came when the medical staff called us in and explained that Renee would no longer be able to remain in our local hospital. In effect, they were saying they had done all they could for her. They were ready to place her where she could die in comfort. Within twenty-four hours after that conference, we received word that Renee had been accepted by the Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles and then later to the Rancho Los Amigos National Rehabilitation Center in Downey, CA. This meant that Renee would receive the best care possible at two of the finest medical facilities on the west coast. Could this be a way that God was assuring us of his love and that He was aware of our circumstances? But Renee was still in a coma and improvement was imperceptible or non-existent. What were we to think?

My wife, another one of God’s angels who happens to be Renee’s mother took up residence at the hospitals. I would drive her to the hospital each Monday morning and pick her up on Friday evenings. Friends from our congregation loaned us a recreational vehicle that we parked in the hospital parking lots. During the day from 7:00 am to 10:00 pm Dorene became part of the medical team committed to Renee’s recovery. Friends continued to pray. Every effort and technique was employed to break into Renee’s coma and trigger a response. Popsicles were placed on her lips to stimulate the mouth. Legs and arms were placed in a cast to keep the limbs from posturing, a result of the brain injury. Her eyes were open but they saw nothing or little. If she wanted to speak, she was unable. Music CD’s were played hoping to resonate with something deep inside her subconscious, but the unrelenting coma prevailed.

It Was Time to Go Home

Again the medical staff brought us in for a final consultation. These patient evaluations involved about fifteen to twenty members of her medical staff that represented every part of her recovery team. They accessed Renee and explained our options. After thirteen months in three hospitals, we made the decision to bring our fifteen-year-old daughter home. We knew she needed twenty-four-hour care. We knew it would take forty-five minutes just to feed her since she no longer had the ability to swallow in a normal way. We knew that everything of a personal nature would have to be done for her, but we still clung to a hope that while our daughter would never be the same as before the accident, yet we believed with God’s help, we could make things better. We understood she would not ride horses again with her friend across the sandy Malibu beach with the wind blowing in their faces. We knew she would never be a debutant and dance with one of the young airmen from the Air Force Academy. We knew there would not be a wedding or children that would mirror her indomitable, gregarious fun-loving personality. Yet we had this hope that we could help our daughter reach a level of recovery that would eventually enable her to live independently with a purpose for living.

Our most difficult decision

After two years at home we came to the painful conclusion Renee would never be able to manage independent living, and so at the advice of her medical staff, we made the most difficult decision of our lives. The decision to place her in a facility that was built and equipped to meet the needs of the brain injured and physically challenged at first seemed like a final surrender. In my life, I had never raised a white flag. Was I being forced to do so now? And so once again I was asking, “God where are you when I really need you?” In such a moment it is so difficult to separate the issues. On the one hand, we focus on what we want in having our daughter with us. On the other hand, we want the very best care for her where she can make improvement in whatever way possible. And then to spice up the recipe, we want God to do what we want. It was clear we couldn’t have all of that at the same time.

Here they come again, my dear well-meaning Christian friends to encourage me. One said, “Pastor, do you remember when you taught from Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)?” ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’”

The other part of my life

To this point, I’ve said very little about our lives other than what happened to our family in the course of living out life. At the time of Renee’s accident, I was the lead pastor of a congregation with a day school of approximately 2000 students with a congregation that was vital and growing. We had recently built and relocated on the other side of town at a cost of approximately $2,000,000. We had made the decision to finance the new facility by creating what we called a Living Trust. It operated very much like any bank or savings and loan. People were able to make deposits and withdrawals like at a bank. We spent more than $40,000 to make certain that we met the requirements of the State of California and at the time were the only certified church living trust program in the state of California of more than 385 churches. According to the requirements placed on us by the state, we were allowed to use 80% of the fund for construction. We did that. Our challenge came in 1980-81 when the interest rates rose to approximately 21% for a period of time. According to the state requirements, we were unable to offer anything above 10% to our investors. You can see what became an immediate problem. People outside of the congregation began to withdraw their Living Trust accounts in order to place their investments where they could earn double the interest. We lost liquidity and were forced to close the Living Trust. While the general health of the congregation continued to remain strong and vital, we were faced with bankruptcy or selling at ten cents on the dollar.

As a family, it was difficult not to be shaped both mentally, emotionally and financially from our daughter’s accident. The accident simply added another layer to our emotional challenge of raising the two older teenagers who were battling their own demons through all of this.  As a congregation, we were faced with what appeared to be a mountain too large to climb.

The Call from a Stranger

Early one Monday morning I had just finished a time of devotion and prayer where I had been seeking God’s guidance. My plaintiff cry simply was, “God, I need help and I need it now!” I had just finished when the phone rang. A man who I had never met introduced himself. He asks me if we had a financial problem in the church. I said, “Yes, I believe we do.” “Can I fly down, take you to breakfast, and explain how I believe I might be able to help?” He arrived the next morning. We had breakfast and he shared with me what was difficult to believe. He said, “with God’s help we should be able to raise approximated three times your annual income over a three year period, and your people will never be the same.” My faith and confidence in such a program were not all that great. I explained that our board of elders would be meeting that evening and if he were willing I would invite him and allow him to share what he had shared with me.

That evening we entered into an agreement with Robert Richardson who would become a dear friend and eventually a colleague. He helped us with what proved to be the most successful debt-liquidation capital stewardship program to that date in history. Through that effort, God enabled us as a congregation to return to our mission. We gladly gave up any interest in the banking industry.

In most capital stewardship programs the senior minister is invited to give a commitment testimony. I understood the reason for this, and I was not opposed to the need for modeling for the benefit of our people, however, while the congregation did not know the exact amount of personal debt we had incurred in medical/doctor bills, they knew it was considerable. To suggest publically that we were making a significant commitment in the campaign when we owed nearly $100,000, in my mind seemed like a testimony that would ring hollow and could possibly be misunderstood by many as a very disingenuous effort to motivate the flock. After my wife and I prayed earnestly about our commitment, I did make our commitment known to the consultant, but I was careful to help him understand that not one penny of that would be given until we were able to repay every dollar of debt incurred from our daughter’s accident.

The Mission to India

Some might think what I am about to share is a sidebar to all of this, but not so. It becomes another thread in the tapestry that God was weaving. It happened through another uniquely gifted man that I had never met, that is until we invited him as a special guest of our congregation.  His name was Dr. P.N. Kurien. Before his conversion to Christ, he was the Minister of Education in Gandhi’s government. After his conversion, he birthed the All India Prayer Fellowship. For many years Dr. Kurien invited between 200-300 American pastors to India to conduct crusades. In 1985 I was one of those pastors.

For two days and nights, I flew and traveled to Trivandrum in the state of Kerala, on the very southern tip of India. Dr. Kurien met me at the airport in Bombay, assisted me from there to my hotel in Trivandrum and then served as my interpreter for the next five weeks. He explained that the Trivandrum hotel would be our home but it would be necessary to be driven by taxi each afternoon to the place of our brush arbor meetings, usually between a three and four-hour drive one way each day.

On that first night as we neared the village we could see the people walking on either side of the road a mile out in single file. They were making their way to this place where they could hear this man who had come from America. To suggest that this was a brush arbor setting is a bit misleading. When I arrived there was a simple elevated covering for the speaker and his interpreter. We took our place and before us were 5000 people all sitting on grass mats much like we would see on our beaches. The children were sitting in the front. I was graciously introduced by Dr. Kurien, and then invited to speak. As I spoke it seemed as though the clouds broke apart. It began to rain so hard I could not see those that were more than forty feet away, yet not a person moved. I spoke for thirty minutes and then sat down, still not a person moved. I turned to my friend and ask him why they were not leaving. He said, “Most of these people have walked 15-25 miles just to hear about this Jesus you speak of. They want to hear more.” He said, “You must continue!”  I spoke another 30 minutes, sat down. For a third time, they insisted that I continue to speak and so I did for more than two hours that night. When I thought we were finished they still remained. I ask my friend once again, what are we to do. He said, “The Holy Spirit has spoken to me and confirmed that this is to be a very special night. These people believe in their hearts that you can do what you have spoken about tonight and that you have a special gift to pray for the sick.” As Dr. Kurian spoke I knew I didn’t possess a gift, those belong to God, but God would have a willing vessel. We invited those desiring such prayer to move to the very front and about 400 moved up. One by one we placed our hands on them and prayed a simple prayer of faith for their healing. Many were visibly healed. I was in awe.

I shall never forget a 12-year-old girl deaf from birth. We placed our hands on her head over her ears and as we prayed you could hear a snap like a clap. Her hearing was granted as a sovereign work of God’s power and grace. The next night there were 25,000, not the 5,000 that attended the first night. There were no Televisions, hand out flyers or any other kind of media. It was simply God doing what only God can do.

On our four-hour ride back to the hotel that first night I experienced every emotion. At first, I was euphoric, I felt like I was in those pages of scripture being turned by someone else. I was exhausted from the travel to India and then spent from the meeting just concluded. I believed the enemy knew I was weak and tired from the journey. He was not willing to stand by while God had such a night of victory. In the back seat of that taxi, there was a struggle of gigantic proportion. I began to sense this oppressive dark feeling of anger. I wanted to shout it to God once again, “God where were you when I really needed You?” You bring me to India, I pray for an Indian child I have never met and will never see again and she is healed. I pray and plead for my daughter and she is not. Is this a cosmic joke? Do you have a preference to operate in India but not in America?

Two close friends visit my office

On a Wednesday afternoon, two of my best friends came to see me. They said, “Pastor, we don’t know exactly how in debt you are from Renee’s accident but we suspect it is considerable. Bill and I have an idea that we think might help, but first, do you have any kind of investment?” I had to think hard to remember that several years ago Dorene and I had made a $4,500 investment in a limited partnership in an office building that was later exchanged for an apartment complex in Oklahoma. The current value of that investment was approximately $12,000. They ask me if we would be willing to sign that over to the two of them. I thought to myself, “and these are my friends.” Fred said, “Let me explain, this is what we have in mind. You know that we are building what will be the finest apartment complex here in Lancaster. Together with our wives, we would like for you and Dorene to be a one-third owner of those apartments.

That proved to be the best investment we ever made. Actually, it could best be considered a gift rather than an investment. To this day I have not heard what happened to the Oklahoma apartments that we gave to our friends for the much greater valued apartments.

Eventually, we sold our interest in those quality apartments. Once the IRS was satisfied, we were able to pay every dollar of the $87,000 of our medical bills from our daughter’s accident. In addition, we were able to complete that earlier capital stewardship commitment we had made only to the Lord and the consultant. It is difficult to comprehend how we could ever satisfy that $25,000 commitment without the divine intervention of God through the kindness of our friends. The title of the church capital stewardship program was “Flying Like An Eagle.” We had taken that from the text in Isaiah 40:31 (NIV), “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah speaking hundreds of years before was certainly prophetic for our church family. Was there something in all of this for our family as well? Was this a different way for us to understand the “glory of the Lord?” When we were asking in the solitude of our hearts, “God, where are you when we really need YOU?” Was this a different way for us to understand He cared for us, that He loved us even though we didn’t see the specific answer to what we prayed for? The skeptic would answer, “These questions are crazy crutches that prop up crazy explanations for why bad things happen to good people, and furthermore they excuse the silence of God so people can cope with their pitiful pleas of what appears to be an absent or non-existent God.”

We preferred to see that Isaiah was right, that God was enabling us to lift in flight from the shackles that had bound us to a barnyard of squalor. Like our congregation, we were beginning to fly and soar again.

One Door Closes While Another Opens

In 1986, after eighteen years serving as pastor at the King’s Place, it was time to leave the people we loved, people who will always remain in our hearts. For several years the consultant that helped with the “Flying Like An Eagle” program had made visits extending the invitation to join with him and his business partner Doug Laird. I accepted that invitation and for the next two years I worked with and was associated with a wonderful group of men who were committed to helping churches discover the Biblical principles of stewardship. In 1988 I started Master Plan Ministries and for the next twenty-seven years worked with more than 326 churches helping them raise just under a half billion dollars. Dan Jackson who succeeded me at the King’s Place joined me at Master Plan in 1996. His contribution to the churches and to me personally is without measure, truly a man after God’s own heart.

God’s Care Is Evidenced By His Provision

The year of 1998 would prove to be a very pivotal year. We received a call from Harbor View, a state-run facility, Renee’s home for the past several years. They informed us that Renee had been approved for one of the Angel View homes near Palm Springs. This was a huge answer to prayer, yes it was! This meant that Renee could be moved from a very institutional setting to a home that was built and staffed with people for those with her type of disability. It was our routine to pick up Renee from her home and bring her to our home in the Antelope Valley on weekends that amounted to about 600 miles driving each weekend. In 1998 we made the decision to sell our home in the Antelope Valley and move to the Coachella Valley where we could be nearer Renee. After the move, our weekends were far less stressful and more time could be spent with Renee.

A New Life Begins

On July 31, 2009, that evening we had dear friends in our home. We enjoyed the fellowship and the exceptional culinary gifts of my wife, Dorene. The mid-night call came from Renee’s home, The Shepherd’s House is located in Montclair, CA. The long journey was over. At 2:00 am we received a second call that night from One Legacy. Later we learned they were an incredible group that makes arrangements for body gifts in order that others might live or enjoy an enhanced quality of life. They apologized for a call in the middle of the night but explained there is such a narrow window of time. “If your precious daughter is to help anyone your decision must be made before 6:00 a.m.” We agreed for our daughter’s remains to be harvested. Renee’s gifts have made possible for more than seventy-five people to have skin grafts in some cases saving their lives. Others received sight and a host of others live today from the gifts of her body that ironically refused to serve her well for the remaining 31 years after the accident.

At the encouragement of friends, we established the Renee Myers Scholarship Endowment at Vanguard University, the place where her mother and I met many years before. The scholarship is the first of its kind to assist physically challenged students, students that would find it difficult or impossible to secure a college education without this kind of assistance. Just this past week in December of 2012 we received the exciting news that the scholarship has reached the required threshold meaning that in 2013 students will begin receiving scholarships not only in 2013 but also until the end of time.

Making Sense out of What Seems Senseless

Recently our pastor preached a Christmas sermon titled, In those first moments when Gabriel visited Mary, what was Mary to think? His teaching is very helpful when you can’t understand or explain the ways of God. See if you can agree.

When Gabriel came to Mary and announced she would become a virgin mother of God’s son, everything changed in a moment for that young Jewish girl. Who in their right mind could believe her story of being impregnated by God? Try explaining that one to your family, friends, and community. Try selling that to the man you are engaged to knowing that he was not the father to be. Oh yes, her life changed not only for the moment but also for her lifetime. She knew that the penalty in Jewish law for a woman betrothed (engaged) caught in adultery was death. How was she to convince anyone of this angel from God and his story that God had impregnated her without the benefit of a man? Can’t you just hear the talking heads on this one? Yes, her life changed never to be the same or normal again.

Our Pastor listed three things we can learn from Mary when dealing with life-changing events that inevitability shapes our lives one way or the other. I find them to be very instructive. First, rely on God’s peace, which is stronger than our fears. Second, Embrace our future so we don’t get stuck in the past. One can’t drive forward if he keeps looking back. There is a good reason why the rearview mirror is much smaller than the front window. And finally, when we are able to release the past, we can invite God to do something new through us. That was true for Mary and it can be true for us. Like each of us, Mary didn’t have any answers nor did she understand what God was doing or how He would work it all out, but she put her past where it belonged and trusted God.

A Father’s Fantasy of Faith

I understand that some will think of this as a contradiction, but you will see while every following line is not precisely historical, it speaks of the reality of our faith. In one sense these thoughts are similar to a parable. Hopefully, you will indulge this father in a moment of memory and then some. It is what makes possible looking ahead and not back.

I will admit following our daughter’s death well-meaning friends would suggest that God finally answered our request. They would say things like, “Just think about it, she’s laughing, dancing and talking a mile a minute in the presence of God.” Who couldn’t be happy for that? The fact remains, God didn’t answer according to our request. However, I’ve come to the place where I’m not so concerned about what God did or didn’t do. I’m confident that God will help me understand one day. I’m reminded how as a young boy I would race to our county fairgrounds to watch the car races. I didn’t have the money to buy a ticket so with other boys we would watch our mini Indianapolis through knot holes in the fence. As compared with how one might see the race from above, every aspect of each detail, we could only see the flash of a single car as it zipped by. We couldn’t see the beginning to the end. Our perspective was severely limited. I’ve come to believe that life is a series of knot holes, and then one day we will see and understand it all from God’s perspective.

And so for me, you can imagine my delight when I welcomed my special nighttime visitor. I believe he said his name was Gabriel. He helped to bring some clarity to my questions since from his perspective he sees our lives from beginning to the end. He sees the race of life from above. I call it, perhaps incorrectly, a fantasy, yet it speaks of truth, based upon the promises of God’s word and faith. He spoke so clearly and with such authority. He said, “You may not comprehend every word now, but ponder the promises of my Father!”

“God is our refuge and strength an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 (NIV

“When you call to me, I will answer you. I will be with you when you are in trouble. I will save you and honor you.”  Psalm 91:15 (God’s Word)

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

Gabriel continued to speak, “For you my friend, I bring this airmail special delivery letter. You will recognize the one who sent it.” When I opened the letter this is what I read …

 My Faith

Dear Mom and Dad, Dana and Theron, my faith, it was rather a simple thing. From reading my story you can see, I was pretty young when my life took a turn. I didn’t live long enough to become confused with a lot of “religious” ideas and what other people thought.

What I did know is that even at my young age, I needed something or someone to place my hope and faith in. It seems that Dad was preaching this all the time, not only at church but at home as well. Man, Dad, you were a trip. I couldn’t always understand what you were talking about, but I did make a connection between what you were saying and the little song we sang in Sunday school,

“Jesus loves me this I know,
For the Bible tells me so;

Little ones to him belong,
they are weak but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me! He who died,
Heaven’s gate to open wide;
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Pretty neat, I believed that. I can’t tell you I saw flashing lights or had a special vision, and I still had some questions about sin. Were some bigger than others, and just how did Jesus handle them? What did He do with them?

My faith actually began from my early days as a child, but I remember that specific moment when I said, “yes Jesus, I want you in my life.” I remember it was at our breakfast table when you and Mom prayed with me. It was a few weeks before Easter. On that next Easter, Dad baptized me in our church. That was quite a day. I never forgot that.

I remember when Dad had that class for all of us who were to be baptized. He said, “all the water in the world would not make anyone a Christian if he wasn’t one already.” He added, “if you baptize a frog, he’s a frog when he goes under and he’s still a frog when he comes up.” I kind of smiled when he said,” when we finish, you’re going to be either very wet without faith, or a very wet person excited to tell everyone about your faith in Jesus.”

I remember he helped us understand something one of those men said in the Bible, “When you are placed under the water, you are identifying with Jesus in his death. At first, that sounded a little funny. How could that be? Back then I hadn’t died, so how could I identify with Jesus and his death. Then my dad said, “when they took him from the cross they buried his body in a cemetery. When you are baptized, that becomes a beautiful picture of what Jesus did for each of us.” At first I didn’t understand, but finally, this is how I understood it. You see the stuff in all of us that isn’t good gets buried, just like Jesus was buried, Dad called that sin, but the good stuff in Him gets put in us and we receive His life. That’s what all that going down and coming up out of the water is all about, RESURRECTION. I took that to mean, something got buried that God doesn’t like, but on the other hand I received a new resurrected life because of my faith in Jesus. Isn’t that pretty neat? You can’t go wrong with that deal.

Now don’t get me wrong. I didn’t become the perfect preacher or Jesus Kid after I got baptized. While I got pretty wet, I didn’t become a little celestial saint. But I can say that I began to think differently even though I still liked boys, especially one.

Well, that’s about it for my story of faith. After my accident, I completely lost the ability to decide what I would do with my life, or even how I would live. For the next 31 years, those decisions were pretty much made for me, but I do remember the hundreds of times when Mom and Dad would hold me and we would pray. Even though I could not speak, God was able to hear my heart. My parents always seemed to have this quiet calm. I know it was hard for them, but God always seemed to meet with us in those times when we prayed together. We didn’t always get what we prayed for – until now.

I’m not going to try to tell you what it’s like here; if I did you would have difficulty believing me. It’s not that I don’t have the ability to explain; the problem is you don’t have the ability to understand, but you’ll find out soon enough. I definitely recommend this place. I pray you will join me. Renee Myers

The answer to where was God? He was in the very same place when His Son said, “Father, into your hands, I Commit my Spirit. Luke 23:44-46