Pregnant Pause

I don’t share this with many people, but the truth is… I’ve never been pregnant.

This has an “up” side. I’ve never experienced “morning sickness”. I’ve never experienced someone inside me stepping on my bladder or kicking me in the ribs. I’ve never lugged the equivalent of a bowling ball around inside me for months on end.

But it also has a “down” side. I will never know what it feels like to have another being inside of my body. I don’t even have a mesh implant inside me, but that wouldn’t be the same. Maybe someday I’ll have a pacemaker – but while it has sensors, it’s not alive.

I remember clearly the first time each of our children moved in utero – at least when I could feel it. With my hand on Dorene’s tummy, I could sense the push of a leg, or perhaps an elbow. But Dorene felt those sensations much sooner, and much more often. One of our favorite stories was when our daughter Dana, in utero, shuddered as Dorene ate a Frosty Freeze. Dana kicked up a storm from that cold sensation. For me, it’s a much-loved memory. For Dorene, it’s a humorous moment she recalls.

I will never know what it feels like to sense a life growing – taking up more and more space, bringing discomfort, but also knowing each additional smidgen of internal space taken up and each moment of time is bringing that new life closer and closer to being prepared to live independently. That “pregnant pause” is a period of preparation, and of potential and endless possibilities, all waiting for the moment to come.

And I won’t know the wonder of birthing a new life into this world. Like my wife and countless other mothers, Mary knew those sensations. And with the pain also came joy. Not just at the birth of her son, but throughout his life, death, and resurrection. I pray that you are finding ways to prepare to celebrate Christmas with a new sense of wonder, hope, peace, and joy.

I also pray that your celebration of Christmas will connect your heart and mind with the promise Jesus gave his followers shortly before His crucifixion:

“In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me. I tell you the truth; you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” Gospel of John 16:16, 20-22 NIV

In a world filled with turmoil, we can still hear the echo of the angel’s words:

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ (Messiah), the Lord.” Gospel of Luke 2:10-11 NIV

May the Baby of the Manger be the Messiah of your life?

Dan and  for Dorene Myers
La Quinta, CA